‘It has been said ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.’
Rose Kennedy

Before stepping foot into your future world of dating, its really important to clear your mind from your past relationships and ensure you have an understanding of what happened, why it happened and what your present state of mind feels about it. I have been on dates where I have spent over 50% of the time with that person, almost as a relationship counsellor, to help them understand what happened in their past relationship, how their ex might be feeling and what my thoughts are on it. Not the ideal way to spend a date, and if this happens to you, then let that tell you they need time to heal! An ex doesn’t need to be mentioned on a first date. It should be fun, flirty and exciting. However we must all understand that relationships and break ups are tough. Both parties need to take time to reflect on a chapter closing and like Rose Kennedy states, not all wounds will heal, even with time. We carry them forward with us, always, like battle scars from a war.

Your past relationships and experiences will make you the person you are today, but to understand what went wrong, why those relationships have ended and why you are now single, you must confront it, take time and think. Don’t rush into dating, don’t use others to help you clear your head or distract you from what is really going on. It’s running away from your problems and brushing them under the carpet while potentially hurting someone new. At some point you will need to face it, head on. Have courage to do this sooner rather than later.

Pain from relationships and break ups, however they ended and whether you ended it or not, are tough. Everyone deals with it in their own way and its important to be respectful of that. We all take different lengths of times to deal with any situation. No length of time or emotions you are feeling is wrong. Allow yourself the time and to feel what you need to feel in order to move forward.

Ask yourself what lessons you have learnt from your relationship, your break up and your actions.